Plant A Seed

Most of the memories I have as a little girl are blurry.  I do remember highlights thanks to pictures and family reminiscing over such events, but one particular event seems to stand out in my youth life. My baptism.  I was baptized as a young adult at the age of 19 nearly eighteen years ago today.  Most of my memories of this day are from within, or how I felt. I vaguely remember interviewing with my bishop or any of the new member discussions. Many ask how I converted to the church or what brought me to it.  Most of my connections with the church started at a very young age.  I met my dearest, oldest friend Courtney at the age of 9.  I had no idea of her faith and we really didn't discuss much about it.  However, her example of striving to be a good person intrigued me.  She always had a positive outlook on life and had a glow about her.  I always think of Courtney as my first planted seed of the gospel.

Courtney and I 

1984

As I grew older, we ended up going to different elementary and junior high schools, but for the most part would stay in touch now and again. During those years I had different encounters with members of the church and was even invited to girls camp, church, and youth activities.  Some I did attend and even recall going to a youth dance when I was 14. Missionaries were sent to my home time after time.  My family was always polite and would invite then in for a glass of water but nothing ever came of it. In 7th grade I had a friend flat out ask me if I would ever consider being baptized.  I simply shrugged my shoulders and replied, "I don't know, maybe."  At that time I asked my parents if I would be "allowed" too, because lets be honest I wanted to fit in and being Mormon was "cool."  They weren't comfortable with the idea of me being baptized and gently declined the idea of me having any part of it.  I shook it off as really being no big deal, until my sophomore year in high school. Christmas formal was a girls ask guy dance and I desperately wanted to go.  My parents were fine with the idea of going on dates before the age of 16 so I creatively asked one of my close guy friends to the dance.  Unfortunately, another girl beat me to the punch and I was rejected. My second attempt didn't seem to result any better.  I had a particular crush on this guy and knew it was a long shot, but decided to go forth and ask him. Again, he politely declined due to the fact his birthday wasn't until the end of December and he wasn't going to be 16. Hurt, discouraged and broken hearted I walked away feeling sad, but still was determined.  My third attempt ended up having a better success. This boy happily accepted my invitation.  I document this not to feel pitied, but this particular dance in an odd way paved my way for the rest of high school.

Mike Jones, me, Jenny Daley, Gage Randall

 Christmas Formal 1991

Fast forward a year later and the boy that hadn't reached 16 became my date or "boyfriend" for the remainder of my high school years. One Christmas formal dance turned into attending every other dance together until our prom senior year.  It was definitely a roller coaster ride, when I look back and reflect on such events.  I know his parents weren't fond about their only son dating a non-mormon girl.  Despite my high standards, I never seemed to live up to their household standard of being a member of the church. As everyone knows telling a teenager to do something when they are not in favor of it never goes well. It got to the point where his parents forbid him to spend time with me anywhere and everywhere.  Stubborn as we both were, this never seemed to stop us from meeting at friends homes, or even hiding his car in my garage.  My parents were fine with it, it was the other side that didn't agree.  Over time his parents caved a little and I did go to some church functions with their family, which included the San Diego Temple open house.  But, the non-accepting factor of what I felt was not good enough for their son left a bitter taste in my mouth.  I can honestly say that I didn't join the church during these years because of these simple facts. In fact, I distinctly remember making the comment that I would never want to be baptized because of how his family treated me.  However, as we all know the Lord works in mysterious fashions and seems to put people in our path for a reason.  Perhaps this was a time in my life I needed to find out who I was and not just jump the band wagon because being a Mormon was "cool." The Lord wanted me to believe and gain a testimony of my own, not based on others.

Jason Hildebrand,  his date? Steve Milius, Courtney, me and Nate

Prom 1992

What I thought at the time was a curse ended up being a huge blessing in my life. I sent Nate on a mission to Canada, he lasted 2 weeks. He called me from an MTC pay phone expressing his misery and that he was coming home.  I talked for what seemed several minutes trying to talk him out of such a ridiculous thing. I knew he needed to be there, and I wasn't going to be the one holding him back. Not more than 3 days later, he returned back home. Things never were quite the same between us after that.  I felt as though I was under a microscope with his family. It was awkward period.  I am most certain fingers were pointed my way, but I knew it was deep down it wasn't because of me.  We dating on and off for a few months and then parted ways.  All for the better.

That summer was sort of a wake up call for me, I turned 19 that July. I was trying to get involved in different things to keep busy not to mention to move on.  The previous year I had been on the dance line for ASU and decided to go ahead and try out to be a Cardinals cheer leader.  Tryouts were brutal, long, and exhausting. I made it all the way to the final cut (which was 4 weeks long) and don't think it was an accident that I didn't make that final cut. If I did, my life most likely would have been very different. That summer I spent dating different people and realized I wasn't the unworthy non-mormon girl my old boyfriends parents had so vividly painted me as.  I started to feel more of a respected young girl who deserved something better than what I had before.  I started attending church on and off and became more interested, but not enough to meet with the missionaries. Courtney never did push the church and religion was discussed now and again.  I distinctly remember making the comment to her family that I did and or would love to get married in the Mesa temple someday. Courtney's mother's ears perked up immediately and said, "well do you want me to invite the missionaries over?"  Being the age that I was (19 and the boys being 19) I politely said,"no thank you that would be weird having boys teach me the discussions that were my age."  She sensed I was a little freaked out and dropped the subject. Fast forward a few weeks later and Courtney had expressed her excitement that some new Sister Missionaries were now in her ward and she thought it would be great for me to meet them.  Ok, I said, but, just "meet"  she agreed.  The appointments were set the following week, and I walked in feeling a little timid at first and slowly relaxed after their sweet smiling faces greeted me.  The rest is history.  The spirit no more than a few minutes sucked me in and it was so strong.  I remember looking forward to the next 6 discussions with these eager sisters who were so excited to share the gospel. By the 2nd discussion I had set a date to be baptized, September 27, 1994.  Growing up in a LDS community I was familiar to many beliefs and principals, which is probably why the process was so rapid.

Sister Taylor and Sister Berget

Thankfully my parents were in full support of whatever it was I decided to do.  I remember the process being so smooth.  I finished up the discussions, met with a bishop I had been working with and I knew what I was doing was right.  

Me, Fred Woods (Courtney's dad)

The day itself it much of a blur which I am sure most everyone's is.  However, I remember as I stepped into the font feeling such a warm feeling inside of my bosom.  It is a feeling that no one can describe. I was confirmed a member that day and my life has never been the same.  I often think back on my life what led me to actually enter into the waters of baptism as a member of the church. I can't pin point one particular event or person.  Most definitely Courtney planted that first seed and from there I truly believe it is all those whom I came into contact with that left an impression upon me.  I am thankfully for the many examples that led me to the woman I am today.  Reflecting on high school years, I could look at those years as such a waste of time, but really what would that do? Things of the my past made me who I am today.  I am thankful for all of those individuals who befriended me over my life, I think that each person had their own special seed for me, especially my parents.   They are still not members of the church, and may never be, but they have shown me through love and acceptance they respect my decision on becoming who I want to be. I am so grateful for that.   This path has also led me to meeting my eternal companion, having the opportunity to raise four wonderful children and so many other big and small blessings in my life.  I still do make mistakes and often am not the person I wish to be, but that is the beauty of the atonement.  The greatest gift of all.  As I sit and reflect over these past 18 years, I haven't become the scriptorian that several individuals are, my prayers are still not up to par, and I still have a lot of things to over come and work on.  That's okay.  Because I am doing the best I know how.  One thing I do know for certain, is the church is true, Christ lives and I am so thankful for the gospel and knowledge that we have on this earth.

How appropriate to spend the afternoon with my best friend who planted that seed, Courtney. Happy 18th Anniversary to me!