Taylor and Mom
1998
Today marks the 16th anniversary of my baptism. This has caused me to reflect on the growth I have had not only in the church, but as an individual. When Doug and I started medical school, I had a one year old baby. I remember feeling alone for that first year. Really alone. I was 1400 miles away from any family members and didn't know a single soul. Upon arrival, I did meet a lovely group of friends, but none of them had kids. Therefore, much of the time I felt sorry for myself that I couldn't just "drop" everything and go out with them. It was a time in my life I wanted to be part of that in group and my situation was hindering me from it. I can look back at that time in my life and I remember it being hard. Truthfully the only reason that first year of medical school was so horrible in my eyes was due to my attitude. Instead of looking at my situation. (i.e. having a big brown eyed sweet healthy little girl) I chose to look at my glass being half empty.
Chanel, Me, and Allison
It wasn't until about a year later when my dear friend Chanel moved in next door that I realized life was too short to sulk about silly things. Afterall, I had a healthy daughter and was pregnant with a sweet baby boy! I think what helped me the most was she too had a little girl (a year younger than Taylor) and we hit it off from the get go. We took up photography, quilting, took our kids to the park, swapped kids, had several family "waffle" dinners together, and stayed up late eating popcorn watching CSI while our husbands would study (thank goodness for baby monitors). The remainder of the 3 years of medical school ended up being some of my most treasured, memorable times in my life. The day I pulled out of New Orleans, Louisiana, I cried and sobbed for a good week. I not only left dear friends behind, but was also closing that part of my book and had to proceed forward.
Jared and Taylor
2004
Moving to San Antonio for residency, I was scared. Essentially, my comfort zone had been pulled from under me and I again had to make new friends. This time I had Taylor who was 4 and Jared who had just turned 2. The first year was hard. No surprise there right? Doug went from studying at home in our office, to literally not around at all. If he was, the poor guy was so exhausted he was falling asleep on the couch within minutes. I remember trying to fit in with some of the girls in church, because we all know that trying to barge in on a group, well it's never easy. I managed to quickly become aquainted, but still felt like I didn't fit in. Luckily, I met Angie who lived down the street from me and happened to have 2 little kids the same age as mine. I really believe that Heavenly Father knew I needed her because once we found one another we became fast friends and inseparable for 6 years.
Jen and Ang
Weekly Date Night
Like Chanel, Angie became my partner in crime, and my go to buddy. Because her husband Greg was a year ahead of Doug in the Orthopedic program, we turned to them for all advice. We survived 5 years of residency, an extra year of fellowship together along two more pregnancies each. When I look back at all of it, there isn't a single moment I wouldn't change. Was it tought? Sure. Doug and I probably had some of the hardest financial moments in our marriage during that time. It was stressful because he was striving to be the best doctor he could, soaking in all knowlege, not to mention impress all attendings. This inevitably left me a single parent a lot of the time and in return rely on the gospel in our life. I think this allowed me to absorb myself in my role as a mother, learn what it takes to be a supportive wife as well as a good friend. We closed our chapter nearly 2 years ago in San Antonio. On one hand it seems like just yesterday, but on the other it seems like an eternity ago.
Doug, Jenny, Angie and Greg
We picked up and moved our family in 2008 to Chandler, AZ. I remember crying and sobbing again as we left that state line of Texas. I wanted so badly to take my dear friend Angie and her family with us to Arizona. But, I knew that wasn't the path that either of us were supposed to take. We were excited to finally be back by family, but I also knew it was going to be hard work on my part to make that transition to a new place. The repeat pattern continues as I was in that place where I had to "sell" myself and make new friends. So, what did I do? I reached out and made extreme efforts to meet people. I showed up a book clubs (despite not liking to read). I attended relief society functions, ward parties and got nerve to call a few women I thought may have things in common with me. And I didn't just call them once, it was numerous times before that friendship was reciprocated. It took about a year before I really felt comfortable and that I had friends I could rely on, just like I could my Chanel and my Angie.
Luke potty training
I am not sure if it is the knowledge I have gained over the years or lots of practice, but I have learned to look at things with a grain of salt. Doug's famous quote and motto has always been, "happiness is not found at the end of the road, but along the way." Over the years I have been blessed to be able to latch on if you will to a friend to help me get through the times I couldn't on my own. Each chapter has had it's own set of challenges. Being a young mother with small children, going through the newborn stage (which was always my favorite), sleep deprivation, potty training, having two kids in diapers, whining, tantrums......the list goes on and on.
Weston
2006
Despite having my kids ALL in school now I still struggle with everyday things. For example, trying to parent a teenager without hoovering over her like a helicopter. Letting her make her own choices and telling myself that she is quite capable of making WISE decisions on her own without me telling her. Not letting my 3rd child's everyday tantrums crawl under my skin, making time to read my scriptures, serve others, excetra, excetra.....
Minnie, Tiffany, Jenny, Amber and Marisol
I have a new group I have seemed to create or "barge" in, now here in Chandler. I like to call them my very own personal consultants. We lift each other up with suggestions on how to become better, stronger women. I'll admit, most of them I run with, which works out well when you need a LONG therapy session. However, I have a few close friends I serve with, or are mother's to my children's friends. Have they replaced my oldest dearest friends? Of course not. That is where, phone, internet and planes come in handy.
Congress St. Bat Caves
2006
Looking back over these past few years, I definitely feel that there has been a time and season for each trial and event I have encountered. Each one has made me into the person I am today. I started motherhood at the age of 21. I vividly remember longing for the day for all of them to be in school. It's never easy to tow 4 small children to the grocery store. Sometimes even running small errands became much like nails on a chalkboard. However, now that my kids are essentially easier to take the store, we can no longer just pick up and head out on a family vacation. I do miss that luxury.
August 2010
Roaring Fork
I am not sure if it's my age or the knowledge I have now, but I really love when my family has time together. It comes rarely these days due to sports, piano, scouts, and schedules. If I could freeze time right now, I would in a heartbeat. If I would offer any advice to my friends, family, and children it would be to LOVE the moment you are in. In other words, find joy in YOUR personal journey, life truely is too short not too.
